Positionality and reflections on my work so far

I revised my main objective and added some stuff onto my methods section:

Suberobjetivo:
Quiero que esta obra sirva como manera de autorreflexión para el público norteamericano sobre como la presencia de sus cuerpos privilegiados puede afectar la textura de una cultura. Está será una representación humanizadora de las masas típicamente anodinas de “nativos” del cual se les advierte a los turistas visitando a las tierras exóticas del tercer mundo. Quiero crear empatía para l@s jineter@s, manicer@s, etc. dejándolos hablar sus propias verdades y presentarle al público la lucha interna que se juega cuando la supervivencia depende de vender una imagen (o un cuerpo) al mundo exterior.

Método:
Utilizando transcripciones de entrevistas con varios personajes relacionados con el turismo como la base del guión, la obra se estructurará como una serie de monólogos que dialogan entre sí. En vez de un escenario tradicional, en el escenario habrán dos pantallas donde se proyectarán una serie de imágenes que funcionarán a veces como background, a veces como subtítulos, y a veces hasta como personajes. El diálogo estará mayoritariamente traducido al inglés, con momentos en español durante los cuales las pantallas servirán para traducir el diálogo. Los actores permanecerán en el escenario durante toda la obra. Cuando no estén en una escena habrá una fila de sillas a los dos lados del escenario para que se sienten. Los props que se utilizarán son: las sillas, varias cajas de madera, un sartén, etc.

I will translate this into English sometime soon, I’m sure.

I’m having all sorts of positionality drama in terms of where I am, who I am, and who I’m interacting with. This really excellent Afro-Cuban feminist rapper invited me into her home, and her mom fed me tons of tostadas and guava pastries and juice and I was so thankful but also very apenada since I have so many more resources than their family. I offered to shoot her music video that’s been on hold for a year ‘cause she hasn’t been able to access a camera in that time. Every time I run into The Manicera she gives me a cone full of peanuts for free, even though she only sells them for a peso moneda nacional and that’s pretty much the only way she makes her money. I offered to film her daughter performing a monologue and put it on YouTube.
I feel good in a sense because these are small steps I’m taking towards building a social environment based on mutual aid no matter where I go, but at the same time, how is it that these interactions start? “Hi, I’m a light-skinned foreigner, I find you/your situation/your character fascinating, let me insert myself into your life and study it and then maybe I can offer you something in return?” Isn’t that a little odd?

The weather is getting hotter and I’m starting to interview jineteros this week- fancy ones, and not-so-fancy ones. Annabelle, one of the young tutors, is coming with me to all of them because as she says, I’m a “muchachita joven, extranjera” and I’m exactly the kind of person jineteros try to charm. I’m more worried about getting good interviews than I am about them, honestly, but the phrase Annabelle used to describe me struck a chord. What the hell am I as a young foreign girl doing interviewing these folks? Like, where does this interest come from? And what the hell can I possibly give back to them for talking to me besides a marriage proposal (a facetious question)?
I certainly did not think at all that this would be my final year project when I first started school. Not even like six months ago. That’s kind of the beauty of having switched concentrations (from video to theater with ethnography somewhere in between) right before my final year of college: I didn’t really get trained properly in either, so everything I’m coming up with, I’m making up as I go along. Heck, I don’t know any better! As I was explaining to someone last night, what comes out of this is either going to be an epic success or a very admirable fail. I mean really, how many undergrads interview Cuban hustlers and write a play about it for their senior project (thanks, Michelle Hardesty)?